That cup of tea after a run...

...that I'm having right now, is the best! I mean, I always like a cup of tea (and my consumption levels are probably high above the recommendations), but there's something about that post-running cup that is just very special.

I think it might be a combination of still being a bit thirsty (despite having drunk a lot of water) and getting a bit cold after having been warm - you know, when you've stopped sweating and start, like, shivering a bit - that makes this cup so heavenly.

It's also one of my absolute favorite feelings - I rarely feel as much at ease with myself and my life as when I'm sitting here, winding down after having worked hard and sipping this glorious Tetley. I guess this is my form of meditation, or whatever people do to relax!

I wish I could prolong this moment and make it last for the rest of the day, but unfortunately there are other things I need to get on with. If life was just about exercising and drinking tea, it would indeed be very easy...

I said I wasn't going to post selfies, but no-makeup and sweaty ones are allowed.

 

Everything looks so much better in the sunshine

All I can say is: thank God (God used in a rhetorical sense here as I know there is no God) for this change in the weather!

It seems like the first rays of Spring sun have hit Edinburgh and Scotland and I don't think I've ever been happier about it. It is warmer everywhere (inside and outside) and everything undoubtedly looks so much better in the sunshine.

Even my own (otherwise quite dull) street!

I normally see myself as a winter person and usually think February is way too early for any sort of Spring sensations, but this year I can only say: bring it on! It's been cold, dark and miserable long enough now.

In addition, my second cold luckily disappeared very quickly, meaning I am feeling fine now and tonight "Bothan" (a monthly concert-like event featuring different Gaelic singers and musicians) is on, so I hope to get a chance to see some familiar faces, listen to some good music and speak some Gaelic. Feels like I haven't really "socialised" in a long time now (though it's really only been two weeks) so I'm actually raring to go!

Happy Friday everyone!

3 things with the English language that annoy/confuse me

Ok, I know there is a risk of sounding a bit too negative here. But I promise I am not. It's just that as my flat is still an igloo averaging about 12.6 degrees Celsius and I've got sick for the second time in a month (I suspect those two things might be connected), I am not in the best of moods and I thought it would be suitable to do a "things that annoy me" kinda list then. It’s not like you would want to do that when you’re all happy anyway. I promise I'll compile a "wonderful things that make this life a sweet adventure" - list some time in the future (when it's got a bit warmer).

So yeah, here goes, 3 things with the English language (though some of them have more to do with the English-speaking culture than the actual language) that annoy or confuse me:


1. "Would you mind if I.....?

Despite having an adequate knowledge of the English language, I still have to stop and think for a few seconds before answering a question phrased in this way.... What are you supposed to answer again?? Oh yes, you're supposed to say "no", as saying "yes" means you would mind, which means you don't want them to do whatever it is they're asking about (which you obviously can't say as you're supposed to be polite all the time).

But why make it so complicated? Why not just ask "can I open the window/do you want me to open the window" instead "would you mind if I opened the window”? That would be fool-proof for the non-natives!

This was my first result when googling "open window". No, it's not what it looks like where I am.

 

2.  “You guys”.

Ok, this is a special one. It doesn’t mean that I dislike everyone who says “you guys”. Since everyone, I mean exactly every single person, native speaker or not, who has any kind of knowledge of the English language says this regularly. And it is quite hard to explain why it annoys me so much. It might partly be that it implies that everyone addressed is male, but there’s also something else. It creates some sort of “hierarchy” between the person who says it and the people they’re addressing. Like “I am awesome whereas you are just the guys”.

Ok, maybe this only exists in my mind. I have a feeling that’s the case. Or does anyone in any way understand what I mean??

The frequency of this expression is probably to do with the fact that the English language lacks a separate second person plural pronoun. I wish there was one. They’re great, you know.

It's clearly guy number 3 from the left that's going "you guys" here.

 3.  People asking “how are you?” and then running away.

You know the feeling. You’re rushing through the street, see someone you vaguely know, they say “Hi, how are you”, and you’re like “Hi, I’m fine, how are…..” Ooops. They’re already out of sight. Don’t ask “how are you” if you don’t have time to stop and talk!!!

It’s a bit like way back in 2009 when I lived in halls and one of my flatmates always greated me with “alright?” Ehmmm, what are you supposed to answer to that?? “Yes, I’m alright… I guess” ? Too much to handle for someone coming straight out of the deep Finnish forests where you don’t talk like that. Or talk at all. Long live the neutral, straight-forward, Swedish “hej”! It can never go wrong.

But despite my inability to “talk British” (which I am sure has caused misunderstandings on more than one occasion) I have definitely been influenced by it. This was prevalent a couple of years ago when I was at a café in my hometown and said “can I have a cup of tea, please?” (in Swedish). The person behind the counter stared at me and looked like she didn’t understand what I meant! I had to observe the next customer to see what I did wrong. Oh, you’re just supposed to say “tea”.

Conclusion: it's a hard life being stuck between two cultures. You’re not behaving normally in any of them!

Det värsta med det här landet

Ni som är Facebook-vänner med mig har väl sett mina klagomål på brittiska hus i allmänhet och min kalla lägenhet i synnerhet. Och det är verkligen ett ständigt återkommande problem! Trots att jag bott i Skottland i över fem år nu är standarden (eller snarare avsaknaden av standard) på husen något jag inte vant mig vid.

I det här landet är husen alltså inte byggda för kyla. Väggarna är tunna, fönstren dragiga och värmelementen minimala (dessutom har vi bara värmen på i ca tre timmar per dag här hos mig för att spara pengar). När det är cirka -1 grad utomhus, som nu, resulterar detta i 13 plusgrader inomhus i mitt rum. Lager på lager med tröjor och kopp efter kopp med te räcker ganska långt, men ändå skakar jag av kyla då jag går in i köket, där det förmodligen är under 10 grader. Jag har läst att en inomhustemperatur under 18 grader kan vara hälsovådlig, och faktum är att jag tror att vissa hälsoproblem (visserligen små, men dock) jag haft den här vintern har att göra med kylan här inne.

Nej, de här fönstren håller inte särskilt mycket värme.

Och det finns inget mer irriterande än då jag klagar på det här för britter och de säger "men du är ju från Finland, haha, hur kan det vara kallare här än i Finland?". Alltså hur tänker de? Tror de på allvar att vi går omkring och hackar tänder i typ några plusgrader inomhus då det är -20 utomhus i Finland?? Nej, de fattar helt enkelt inte. Vilket ju är förståeligt eftersom de vuxit upp med ganska liten skillnad mellan inomhus - och utomhustemparaturer och sedermera uppenbarligen utvecklat nån slags immunitet mot kyla inomhus.

Det är dessutom inte bara kylan som är jobbig, utan också det att husen överlag är primitiva här. Två kranar, gammaldags enkla fönster och heltäckningsmattor är vad de flesta hus kommer utrustade med. Och mögel. När jag ser bilder på hur ni som jobbar/studerar i Finland bor blir jag så avundsjuk - det är verkligen rena lyxen jämfört med det här! Ni vet inte hur bra ni har det!

Oh the joys...

Det som är anmärkningsvärt är också att det här problemet just i år irriterar mig mer än någonsin. Jag har ju trots allt bott här ganska länge.

Jag tror det kan ligga något i det jag och Pia diskuterade förra helgen (hej Pia om du läser det här!): när man var yngre, allt fortfarande var nytt och spännande och man mer eller mindre levde ett liv i sus och dus brydde man sig inte så mycket om att ens bostad var ett kylslaget råtthål. När man blir äldre, å andra sidan, börjar man prioritera lite annorlunda.

Och just nu ligger ett varmt, mysigt och bekvämt hem ganska högt på min prioriteringslista. Det har faktiskt gått så långt att jag ibland undrar varför jag envisas med att bo i det här fuktiga, mögliga, primitiva landet då jag skulle kunna vara i moderna, fräscha Norden.

Hmm. Förhoppningsvis blir det bättre mot våren...

Dealing with criticism

There was a post on Humans of New York (a hugely popular Facebook page where someone takes pictures of random people on the streets of New York and asks them to tell something about their life) recently where the person pictured said something along the lines of "I'm trying to be happy with myself without being the best". This is something I've thought about the last couple of weeks as I've been getting feedback on my coursework from last semester.

I don't know if it's because I'm an only child and always got a lot of attention from parents and relatives and hence, perhaps subconsciously, learned that I was "special", or because I rarely got anything else than praise for the writing work I did at school, but through my university years, dealing with criticism has always been a struggle.

This happened again last week with one piece of coursework in particular. Though the grade was ok, there was very little positive feedback and nearly every sentence I had written in the 4000-word essay was criticised and questioned in some way.

I know that the person who corrected it did this in order to help me, in an attempt to make me aware of my weaknesses and as a result do better next time. Still, as I am unable to receive negative feedback in a dignified way, I couldn't help seeing every comment as a personal insult and feeling depressed for the rest of the day - even though I know that this kind of behaviour is completely ridiculous and that the essay in question indeed wasn't the best thing I'd produced.

I think this - constantly being assessed for everything - is one of the most stressful things about being a student and it is also part of why I, for the first time ever, have a desire to finish studying and move on into "the real world". (Not that I'm sure if that will be any easier!)

Do you have the same problem as me or have you found a way to deal with criticism and be happy with yourself without having to be "the best"?

How I feel about Edinburgh

As you may know, after four years in Glasgow and one year on the Isle of Skye (which I could probably write a whole book about - the year on Skye I mean – I think it would subsequently also make a good drama series on BBC Alba), I am now finding myself in Edinburgh, Scotland’s stunning capital, doing a so called MSc.

And I have something to confess: I have not yet started feeling at home here. Though there’s no denying that Edinburgh is a beautiful city that Glasgow can’t compete with aesthetically, it doesn’t feel like ‘my city’ at all. Not like Glasgow.

As most of my life revolves around walking between my flat, the university and the gym and I rarely venture out of that area, I haven’t learned to find my way around very well. Most times spent in the narrow wynds that make up the city centre have been at nighttime and in the company of people who know their Edinburgh much better than I do.

Glasgow is bigger than Edinburgh, but in a way feels smaller. The West End where Glasgow University is situated is largely populated by students and during an average day I would always bump into someone I knew or at least recognised. Edinburgh lacks such an explicit “student part of town”. My flat is about twenty minutes away from the university, and if you walk a further twenty minutes you will be in the city centre bustling with tourists from all over the world. I know the seven people on my course (and a few more) but when I don’t have classes I can spend a whole day in the library and around campus without seeing one single person I know or have even seen before! Anonymity can be a blessing, I certainly know that, but it can also make you feel strangely detached from any context. I miss my West End bubble!

But, inevitably, it is the situation as well as the location that contributes to my feeling of non-belonging. As any modern human being, I tend to google every situation I find myself in and from what I have found, it is quite common to feel like this when pursuing a postgraduate course in a new city. The small number of contact hours with teachers and classmates and the absence of the socializing frenzy called Freshers’ Week, paired with a large amount of coursework and a tight budget contribute to making postgraduate studies a somewhat isolating experience.

Also, four years is a long time and enough to start feeling at home in a place. If I had spent those years here in Edinburgh I would probably have developed the same kind of “emotional relationship” with this city that I now feel I have with Glasgow.

Nevertheless, I can’t help feeling a bit like a stranger here in the capital.

But I do like the Meadows.

When I speak Gaelic, no-one asks me where I'm from

As some of you might know, I finished my degree at Glasgow University in June last year (which means nearly a year ago, time flies...) and have spent this year at the Gaelic college Sabhal Mòr Ostaig on Skye to learn more Gaelic. And learning more Gaelic is definitely something I have been successful with - I could write a whole essay on how good this place is for getting confident in speaking Gaelic (and another one on the pleasures and pains of being based at a tiny college in a remote area - it's certainly been an experience unlike any other...). One of many interesting things I've noticed during my stay here is that when people I don't know strike up a conversation with me in Gaelic, they don't ask me about my nationality to the same extent as when speaking English. When speaking English, my 'Ostrobothnian lilt' is strong enough to have people eventually ask me where I'm from, but when speaking Gaelic I have a similar pronunciation to that of Scottish people (I think I do at least!) and as the spoken skills of the students and staff here vary greatly, there's no striking difference between my way of talking and the others. As this is a very small college, most students and staff members obviously know where I (and everyone else) come from, but it's happened a few times that people such as distance learning students and Gaelic-medium student teachers who visit occasionally have started talking to me (this is one of the few places in the world where you can start talking to a complete stranger in Gaelic) and that we've been chatting for a while without the question where I come from ever arising. As I don't consider my nationality an important part of my identity (my hometown and local region, yes, but the country of Finland, not in particular) I find this quite liberating. As this college is based in a remote rural setting as opposed to in a big city you would think it would be the other way around, yet I have noticed that people seem to pay less attention to nationalities and backgrounds here than at Glasgow University. Before going here I thought I would be *the* outsider, the one European foreigner among all the insular Gaels, but if I've ever felt like an outsider here it's been more to do with my age (at 24 I feel a bit 'stuck in the middle' as most students here are either 18-19 or in their 50's) than my nationality! This lack of attention to nationalities and the encouragement to speak Gaelic regardless of background and fluency is something that I thoroughly appreciate and as a result I feel more 'included' in the Gaelic world than I was before.