A few insights since giving up alcohol

First of all, this is not going to be a rant about the damage alcohol is doing to our society and an appeal to everyone to stop drinking. I've had a lot of good times where alcohol has been involved and I probably have the presence of wine and cider to thank for the forming of some of the lifelong friendships I've made during the last few years. I think alcohol is fun. A bit too much fun, which briefly summarises the multitude of reasons behind my decision to take a break from it on the morning after my 25th birthday.

Yes, take a break. I have not yet completely decided how long I'm going to stick to Irn Bru on nights out, though I have a certain date in mind when I'm thinking of having a glass of wine again.

Though I know 3 + months without booze is not a very long time, I've come to some insights regarding my relationship to alcohol and my life in general. The point of this blog post is to share some of them, as I think they might be of interest to others. Here goes:

1. My love for dancing has nothing to do with intake of alcohol. You always hear how letting loose on the dancefloor must be impossible when sober, whereas staying sober during 'a quiet night' in a bar is no problem. I thought I was like that, but since ditching the booze I've realised that it's exactly the other way around! I still love dancing! I still love all the tunes! I have so much fun dancing to good music that the question whether I'm sober or not becomes irrelevant, and that is the exact goal of my taking a break from alcohol - to learn to have fun without it.

Sitting around in a bar, however, easily becomes boring. Obviously it is fine when you're with good friends, but being at the pub with a group of people that you don't know that well has proved the most challenging situation for me since stopping drinking. I'm not very good at small talk and some alcohol definitely helps. It is not only its inhibition-loosening properties - the activity of drinking itself seems to have a unifying effect on people that might not otherwise have that much in common. It is, really, only in those situations that I've struggled and felt quiet, uptight, like I've had 'sober and boring' stuck to my forehead and wondered why I won't just get myself a pint and get on with the night.

2. Letting go of seeing alcohol as the ultimate reward is hard. I have a big deadline coming up and in the past, having a drink or seven was the obvious way to celebrate an achievement of that kind. I can't help feeling a bit disappointed at the fact that I'm not 'allowed' to drink this time.  This is stupid as I know (and have already described) that I'm perfectly capable of having fun without drinking, but the view of alcohol and its mind-altering effects (come on, no-one drinks it just for the taste - there are few things in the world I'm completely sure of but that is one!) as the ultimate reward after working hard is so strongly rooted in both Scottish and Finnish culture - and hence also in my mind - that it is hard to let go of it.

I might have a chocolate bar instead. Meh.

3. Giving up drinking has made me re-evaluate my life. Despite the above mentioned difficulties, this decision has had some positive effects.

While my life used to revolve around looking forward to the 'next opportunity to party', I've come to view all the non party-related things in life in a new light and realise that there are a lot of things that make me happier than the whole 'go out-get drunk-say and do silly things-wake up feeling like death warmed up' cycle ever did, though I for a long time persuaded myself that this was the one thing that made me happy.

When you're young, you're expected to enjoy this kind of lifestyle - to 'live your life to the fullest' (oh how I hate that expression) before you get old and grey and I think these expectations have a big influence on a lot of people. They certainly had on me, and in my case there was also the aspect of doing all the stuff I had missed out on as a quiet and well-behaved teenager.

Now, before anyone thinks I'm shifting responsibility away from myself and blaming popular culture for ill-advised decisions I've made while under the influence, I have to mention that I many times genuinely had fun while partying (and probably still will in the future). Sometimes, however, especially during recent years, I felt like I was clinging on to a certain lifestyle without properly considering whether I actually liked it.


All in all, though it is challenging at times, giving up alcohol has been a wake-up call. I'm feeling truer to myself and I'm on my way to realising what my real likes and dislikes are: that it is OK if getting up at 8 am to go for a run on a Saturday morning makes you feel happier than partying until 5 AM does (but that partying until 5 AM when you really feel like it is OK too!) or to go home and binge-watch your favorite tv-show when that night at the pub is getting sort of dull. You're not missing out on anything. When you're doing things you don't enjoy just because you feel like you're expected to, on the other hand - that's when you're missing out!

(Damn, I feel like becoming some form of guru and writing self-help books is my next step now, but considering the amount of bad TV I actually binge-watch and how I still enjoy jumping up and down on that sticky Hive floor I think I'm not quite at that stage yet!).

Peace & love,
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