15/01/11 I like people who clap when planes land

There is a group on facebook called "I hate people who clap when planes land".

I don't really like that group. Though it might be a bit ridiculous I don't actually mind people who clap when planes land.

For thing is, I'm quite scared of flying.

It was different a few years ago. When I was younger and only travelling for fun, I actually quite enjoyed flying - I found the actual journey as enjoyable as spending time at the destination.

But now when I've chosen to study abroad and need to travel between home and here, I can't really find any part of the travelling that I find particularly pleasant.

And flying is scary.

I can never relax while on a plane. During the whole duration of the flight between Tampere and Edinburgh (that's the route I've been flying lately) I sit there like a "lit candle" and try to disregard the fact that I'm on a plane. Which is impossible, of course.

I try to read something, and I tell myself to relax, but as soon as there is a message of any kind in the loudspeakers I start panicking (and feel utterly ridiculous when they're just telling about the choice of food...).

I'm also doing some magical thinking.
I imagine that my thoughts will influence the success of the flight:

I can't relax too much and just take for granted that I'll actually make it to the destination, since then something is definitely going to happen.
But on the other hand, I can't just sit and think "the plane's gonna crash, the plane's gonna crash", since then it's definitely going to crash.
So there has to be something in between. I have to try to relax a little bit, but at the same time always be observant (of what, I don't really know!).

And then I always promise myself that "if I'll make it to Edinburgh/Tampere safe and sound I'll always be happy and never complain about irrelevant things anymore".

So, I don't mind people who clap when planes land. At the moment of landing, I'm always so relieved about having made it once again that I almost feel the urge to clap myself.

But after I've landed, safe and sound, it doesn't take long until I've forgotten about my promises and I'm back complaining about the long queues to the passport control...